I'm fat... visibly,unmistakably fat. The kinda fat person who garners nasty stares and looks of shame from complete strangers. I've spent a good chunk of my life trying to not be a fat person or at least being a more acceptable fat person. A list of things I did to be a good fatty in no specific order.
1.Eating less or not at all, specifically around men.
2. Wearing hot ass fall clothes in the summer cause don't nobody wanna see all "that".
3. Talking shit about fat folks who dared to live their lives guilt free( this is probably the worst, internalized fatphobia is real ya'll.)
4. Constant dieting, and eating "healthy" (eating healthy is great but so is ice-cream and you can enjoy both so yeah)
5. Going harder in the gym than I should have cause they're watching and waiting for me to fuck up or looking at me and applauding me for being a good fatty trying to get fit.
I'm sure I've done more harmful things to myself just so I could say at least I'm not one of "those" fat people. Hey skinny folks look at me I don't eat, I exercise, I don't wanna be like this... that was all done to get approval from folks I didn't even know.
No matter what we do as fat people, society at large will associate our fat bodies with poor health, laziness, and other socially negative traits assigned to folks with fat bodies [also let me be clear, if you are fat and possess those traits, you still don't owe anyone change or an explanation]. These people will continue to judge and shame because they are fearful of fat folks thriving and being happy.
I made a very conscious decision to be happy and free in whatever skin I'm in and not giving anyone my energy who tries to make me feel like there's a problem with my body. I promise you it feels so good to not give a damn where other's opinions of you are concerned. It also feels good to do the things you want without worrying about who's watching. I'm not saying that the damaging thoughts I held don't sometimes creep back up into my mind, but I've stopped trying to justify my existence; whatever body I'm in is mine and I love it, I don't owe the world any justification for simply being and neither do you.
Holly Thomas
on July 16, 2021 09:45
Thank you for sharing, I have done all of these and while I talk a good game, it is scary to be out there saying I dont care what folks think and to feel ok when my stomach shows… I am working on it.. but Thank you!!
Quitia
on July 16, 2021 09:46
Yassss Gorgeous!!! Loving this Hunni!!! Thank you for helping to show others that being beautiful doesn’t mean being skinny. We are all beautiful and it’s ok to be comfortable in the skin you’re in. ILY
CaNesha
on July 16, 2021 09:46
Awesome post. Glad you started your blog. Keep speaking your truth.
Crowned CaNesha (IG)
Debbi Bachman
on July 16, 2021 09:46
You go girl. I admire this view of life so much. I’ve only very recently stopped feeling ‘less’ because there is ‘more’ of me. You know what? I feel prettier, I have more self confidence and I’ve realized that most people don’t run away from me screaming.
I would still like to get some weight off to preserve what’s left of the cartilage in my knees. That is strictly for me ya’ll! I don’t swim, but if I did you better believe I’d buy me a bikini. I’ve taken to wearing a crop top on the weekends. I just have to remember to put sunscreen on the skin that’s exposed!
Zee
on July 14, 2021 20:08
This was awesome funny and true. Brought back some memories of me trying to hide my fat flabby arms from this judging world, but not anymore I’m flapping these b****** like wings.